The Bongo Club: 37 Holyrood Rd, Edinburgh

I would like to be able to say I enjoy this club and to recommend it. It is trying to do something different – to play an eclectic selection of music and a variety of different types of nights. However clearly it is the sort of place you need to be in the know about what is going on – if you don’t it can be hit or miss.

I have been there several times now and have happened upon; a dance music night (rubbish), a sixties soul night (which was actually alright), a burlesque night (which was just bizarre) and a New Year’s celebration for 2012 (which was fairly poor). I also turned up pissed there one night which was probably the best if not only good night I’ve had in the Bongo Club.

To concentrate on my more recent experience at New Year; to start with it cost 12 quid to get in because it’s 2012 – ha ha, I’m laughing all the way to the poor house! Perhaps I should have gone in 2000 when it was free right?

The woman at entrance kiosk seemed fairly pissed off with the whole situation and actually man handled one of my mates, who had walked off after paying without getting his hand stamped (or drawn on with a permanent marker as the case was).

The Bongo Club is on two levels. There is an upstairs bar and small dance floor, and then the main bar and dance floor downstairs. We went upstairs first which was actually reasonable. It took an age to get served at the small bar but at least the music was good– sort of soul stuff. I was desperate on a seat though having walked all the way from Lothian Road (effectively a mile - the Bongo Club is certainly a trek).  There were no seats though sadly. Then we went downstairs.

The Bongo Club is a sort of student place and the talent is generally good. Downstairs they were all dancing away to dance club (reach for the lasers kind of music), and if you like dance and were wasted you could be having great fun. Unfortunately I wasn’t drunk, as the beer was £3.50 for a bottle, and I hate dancing, so I was bored. Taking a trip to the toilet before leaving, there was a river of piss to wade through on the floor, no hand drier, and one of the sinks was blocked.

Good times!

Reach for the lasers!