Espionage: 4 India Buildings, Victoria Street, Edinburgh

Also known as Sexpionage, this is the premier tourist nightspot, if not venue, in Edinburgh! Forget the Castle; you haven’t been to Edinburgh if you haven’t been to Sexpionage. Now I realise I’m giving it a good billing so far but it’s actually five floors of hell, and like hell it gets worse as you go down! Now fair enough it’s free to get in and before the likes of Ghillie Dhu it was one of the few places where you could drink in a bar like atmosphere if you rocked up after 1am.

The first floor is a bar, the second and third are also bars. However the fourth and fifth floors going down are horrendous, packed, sleazy, sweaty clubs. Espionage is not particularly good or cheap but as it’s free to get in I guess you get what you pay for! It also makes a handy shortcut from the top of Victoria Street to the Cowgate.



Forget the Castle - Espionage is the no. 1 tourist venue

Alexander Graham Bell: 128 George Street, Edinburgh

This is one of the high end Wetherspoon bars that feels slightly more like a bar than the Standing Order’s ‘Commonwealth Pool’ atmosphere. This used to be a trendy bar on George Street so it is a bit nicer than the Standing Order. Like the Standing Order though it’s generally packed. There are entertaining pictures of inventors and models of old fashioned telephones and typical cheap Wetherspoon prices. A good local or venue for after work drinks. Curry night on a Thursday is also a favourite.

A useful invention!

Ghillie Dhu: 2-6 Rutland Place, Edinburgh

I’m in two minds about this pub. As a bar it’s quite good. As a restaurant don’t even go there! We’ll start with the good though – the bar. The bar is well stocked with your normal selection of beers, including Belhaven Best, and an impressive selection of whiskies. It is quite an original Scottish bar with mood lighting, sleek furniture and a novel seating area where you can order beer from the bar directly from your table through a hatch in the wall. There are live bands at the weekend, however I think they could be advertised a bit better as you’re never really sure who’s who. Also it’s a bar that is open until 3am, and while there may be dancing in the upstairs level, you can still sit downstairs and drink if you want to avoid a night club.

Upstairs is a much larger hall which I believe can be hired out for events and where a ceilidh is held every Friday. This is good fun for the tourists and is something a bit different. Gents once you’ve had a few pints or whiskeys and need to drain the tank you can go to the toilet and piss in a bucket. I obviously can’t comment on the setup in the ladies but would be interested to hear if there’s also some sort of novelty toilet items.

Unfortunately the food is abominable. Now I’m a man that thinks going to Wetherspoon’s for a meal is fine dining so if I think the food is bad then it must be truly terrible! I once ordered Fish and Chips there and it was saltier than a German pretzel! I was so dehydrated I had to order a pint of water – a ridiculous experience!

Overall though, this type of Scottish bar is a welcome change from the normal boring traditional Scottish bars, of average wooden traditional décor, old men and a TV for entertainment if you’re lucky. Just avoid the food and you won’t be disappointed.

Not an actual photo of the food served here!